Sunday, 4 January 2015

Hello 2015

I am never really quite sure how I feel about New Years Resolutions. I remember noting when I was young that everybody seemed to focus on things that they were not going to do. Things like stop eating sweets, stop biting your nails, stop eating fast food, stop drinking alcohol, go on a diet... I always thought it would be good to make a resolution to do stuff, and so that was my focus for several years. I got a motorbike licence, travelled overseas, jumped out of a plane...

In some ways too, I find it odd that we have to wait until a New Year to make these changes. If you want to be more healthy why not start straight away, rather than continuing to abuse yourself until Jan 1st? Why put off until tomorrow what you could be doing today? Just get on with it why don't you!

Now that I'm older I find myself doing all of the above. More so, I actually enjoy having a point in the year to reflect, regroup and refocus. It has become an annual practice to look back on what has happened in the last year, and consider how that has impacted on my life. To give myself a little hug and validate my own feelings. To note the repeated patterns and errors in my ways. To resolve to make changes where I can, and accept things where I can't. To think about what's important to me in the coming year, where I'm headed, what I would like to achieve.

I find myself a bit disappointed that in some respects this year it's not really clear. In fact, I have written and rewritten this blog post several times already. Thats good in a way - writing it has made me process and focus. The indecision has forced me to drill down to what's really important to me. I won't bore you with it all I think perhaps my goal for this year should be to accept the need to wait sometimes, and to learn how to live with the way things are without the need to make something else happen yesterday. I still hope we move, but maybe now is not the time.  Perhaps we need to wait and see what else happens. No one has made an offer yet anyway. There is one house we like in the place we want to go, but our chances of timing a sale and a purchase are slim. We are staying on the market for now, to see what occurs, but actually the house we have now is perfect for us and I do really love it. We have three bedrooms, so room for another child if I am able to adopt or foster, and the house is already baby proofed. Plus I have added a downstairs office, laundry, solar panels to keep the bills down... It's a shame that you can't literally move your house. We do spend a lot of money on fuel, but actually, when you work out how much we would pay a real estate agent to sell the property, we have more than six years worth of fuel money, so we can afford to wait a while (hopefully not six years though).

Again drilling down to what's really important to me, it's my own family. I think all my readers know already how much I want a second child. BB really wants a brother or a sister (actually both, twins would be his preference). His recent favourite TV show is Call the Midwife. In fact that is the only thing that's not on the Childrens' channel that he has ever liked. We have talked a lot recently about adopting a baby or toddler that has come from another Mummy's tummy. Part of his morning routine of what are we doing today now includes "can we get a baby today?". I have talked to him a lot about different things, what if the baby wanted to sit on Mummy's knee, what if the baby wanted to use the ipad, what if the baby played with your trains. He has some lovely big brother answers. So we will officially begin exploring whether adoption is right for us in a couple of weeks.

The other goal for me this year is my health. I have to stop eating wheat and stay stopped, despite the temptations of all the yummy stuff it's found in, or the practicalities of grabbing a quick lunch. I also have to get fitter and lose some of the weight I found in my three pregnancies. I need to be a healthy, happy, fit and strong mummy. I have resolved to lose 12kg this year. 1kg a month seems like a reasonable goal. I started the year at 85, though I think really that's an inflated figure due to all the wheat I consumed over Christmas and the sandwiches I have grabbed as we have raced around between work, our activities and visiting Nana. 71 is a good weight for me, 69 is better - but if I could be down to 73 in a year then that would be awesome!

So, in summary my goals may seem pretty tame. There's no jumping off buildings or running marathons, and I am breaking my own rule about giving things up for new year too. But to live in a good home, to complete our family, and to maintain the commitment required to return myself to good health would be more than amazing, so I'm happy with that!